Bottoming is not a new phenomenon. It is common all around the globe. This act dates back to ancient Greece and has been repeated time and again in artifacts from past eras. It is common and natural. A tail as old and as common as time (yes that was a pun). This topic has been discussed before. Why then, as a society, are we so obsessed about the top and yet so ignorant about its bottom?
For those who are not familiar with the term bottoming, let me briefly explain. Its root, bottom is a common term that describes an individual who enjoys and receives sexual sex. This involves, traditionally speaking, the insemination of their partner’s penis. Bottoms and bottoming are more than just that. In the 21st Century, bottoming has become a symbol and a cultural identity. It is a way to carry oneself, or how one presents themselves to the world. It’s basically a feeling.
If you are interested in bottoming, but have never tried it, all of this can seem daunting. This is why gay men are often the subject of a lot of jokes that relate to submission and anal sex. This blog is a continuation of our previous bottom blog. Below is a summary of some of the most common myths surrounding bottoming. It explains why we need to let go of false beliefs about anal sexuality and just have fun with it.
1. Bottoming is only for gay men
The biggest misconception about bottoming, is that gay men can only do it. It’s time to let go of the past. It’s 2022 and everyone can bottom (if they wish it). In fact, a study published in 2016 found that more than 30% of heterosexual-identifying people reported bottoming in the past year (Hess). Not all gay men participate in bottoming. It doesn’t necessarily mean that anal sex is gay, just because men who have had sex with other men more often than others in the past has not meant that they are less likely to engage in bottoming.
No matter what sexual orientation you are, your anus is full of nerve endings that can facilitate pleasure and pain. It can feel quite amazing when these nerves are stimulated in the right way. You don’t have to travel far to stimulate the nerves. You can stimulate the nerve endings around the opening by paying attention. You can elevate sex and orgasm by a light touch or flicking of your tongue from your partner towards the area.
The rectum is a little deeper within and also has a large nerve supply. The anus and the rectum both have the capacity to expand and are sensitive to pressure. The prostate is also important. Anal penetration can be a very enjoyable experience for prostate cancer patients. This is because the rectal wall allows the stimulation of the erogenous area. The clitoris is also affected, contrary to popular belief. The clitoris can also enjoy bottoming as much as the prostate. Bottoming can be enjoyable for all types of anatomy because the crura of the Clitoris runs alongside the vaginal opening.
After you have uncoupled your sexual orientation and gender identity from bottoming, it is possible to let your backside show and to dip your toes into the bottom of the pool. Bottoming is fun, regardless of whether you have a penis or clitoris.
2. Bottoming involves penetration
Bottoming does not necessarily have to involve penile penetration and intercourse, as I have already mentioned. You can do so much more. Anal sex xxx may include fingering, using a vibrator, the dildo or butt plug, rimming and/or pegging. Anilingus is the act of giving oral stimulation to your partner’s genitals. Rimming can also be called anilingus. Pegging is a sexual practice that involves a person penetrating a man’s anus with a sextoy or strap-on device. Pegging recipients do not have to identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual. When it comes to bottoming out, open your mind and let go.
3. Bottoming is a sign that you are submissive
The power dynamic that is inherent in the terms “top” and “bottom” is an ancient one. The “real man” is the top, which is usually viewed as the dominant figure in a sexual encounter. On the other hand, bottoms are often viewed as feminine or submissive. The French slang word for bottom, passif, literally means passive, is “bottom”. If this idea is preventing you from learning how to enjoy bottoming then it’s time for you to let go of power dynamics. Bottoming should not be equated with surrender or acquiescence. Bottoming is not a sign that you are incapable of being the aggressor in the bedroom. There’s even a term for it: power bottom. If bottoming is something you enjoy, then go for it with confidence and regain your power, Bottom!
4. It is dangerous to bottom.
Bottoming can be done in a safe way and won’t affect your sexual health. Communication is key. Bottoming is not something you do by accident. There’s preparation. It takes breathing, relaxation, and lubrication. Sometimes it takes longer than others. It’s okay to let your partner or friend know. If you feel hurt or uncomfortable, don’t hesitate to let your partner know. Listen more, don’t push if you are at the top of the situation. To get pleasure neurons firing, you need to keep going back and forth between the two of you involved in bottoming.
5. It is not supposed to hurt to bottom
This is a piggyback to the previous point. It is not supposed that sex should hurt (unless you specifically want it to). This applies to oral, vaginal and anal sex, as well as any other type of sex. Start slow if you are new to bottoming. Use lots of lube. This will make your ride more comfortable and help prevent injury.
Warming up is a good idea before you start the big bottoming game. If you are partnered, ask your partner to warm up your backside by rimming it first. Start with one finger if you are alone. Then move on to larger objects. If things get painful, stop. When it comes to bottoming, you need to practice. These tips will help you become an expert in anal sex.
6. Protection is not required for bottoming
Safe sex was a popular idea during the HIV/AIDS crisis. It’s something that many people now take as a given. Non-queer people may be just beginning to explore the world of bottoming. They may not be aware of the importance of protecting their sexual health during anal sex. Even though you cannot get someone pregnant by anal sex it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t wrap it up. Peno-anal penetration is the most dangerous form of sexual activity. Using a condom can help lower your risk of HIV and STI.
Also, be aware of possible injuries. While it does occasionally happen, bleeding during bottoming is not common. Although mild discomfort is common, it is not uncommon to experience persistent pain, particularly when you are just starting out. Bleeding or persistent pain could indicate a larger problem. Until the problem is resolved, you should avoid additional bottoming. These issues should be resolved immediately.
You can also protect yourself by cleaning your toys after each use, and before you share them with your partner. If toys are involved, vigorous bottoming can lead to a variety of infections including yeast and urinary tract infections. Toy cleaning can be done with water and soap, but there are many products that can keep your toys clean and fresh.
7. Bottoming is always dirty
It happens! This is true in all aspects of life, even bottoming. As you begin to enjoy bottoming you will also discover that there are many ways to keep it clean. Anal douching, a practice many experienced bottoms use to give themselves a thorough clean before they go out for sex, is a very common procedure. To clean any feces that may remain, this involves injecting water (or a mixture of both) into the rectum. Douching before you bottom is a popular practice. However, it can sometimes cause more harm than good. Douching too often can cause irritation to the anorectal mucosal liner and disrupt the bacterial microbiome. These negative effects can increase the risk of sexually transmitted diseases (STI), and micro-traumas such as anal tears (fissures), and hemorhoids.